It’s a Sad Day

Today I joined the pathetic ranks of stupid people that forget to put their gas cap back on after filling up their cars.

The Circle K actually had water in the squeegee thing this morning – that only happens about once a year – so, of course I had to clean my windshield. Well, the gas pump shut off before I finished, and I hung the pump up and went back to cleaning the glass. I didn’t put the gas cap back on, thinking I’d do it after I returned the squeegee. So, I suppose I could blame Circle K for distracting me with squeegees and water – but really the fault was mine. It wasn’t until I was 40 miles down the road that a concerned fellow driver pulled along side and waved at me to let me know of my blunder. I cringe to think of how many people saw my gas cap dangling alongside my car, pointed and laughed at the absent-minded moron.

I hang my head in shame.

Starbucks

I love Starbucks. I really do. The best drink in existence is a Starbucks Venti® Latte with 3 shots of espresso (notice the correct spelling of the word “espresso” – it’s not eXpresso people! C’mon, get it right!).

However, I do have a little complaint about the drive-thru at Starbucks. Their opening greeting sucks.

A typical conversation at any other drive-thru goes something like this:

“Welcome to (Fill-In-The-Blank-Restaurant), may I take your order please?”

“Yes, I’d like a…”

Not at Starbucks. Oh no. Here’s what you get there:

“Thank you for choosing Starbucks, my name is Bambi. How are you doing today?”

“Uh. Er. Um. Ok, I guess.”

Followed by an uncomfortable silence that stretches on for several seconds.

Why are they asking how I’m doing? Do they know me? They obviously don’t care about the answer to the question, judging by the long uncomfortable silence. I wonder how they’d react if I told them I was dying of some rare incurable disease, but if I could just get a decent Frappuccino® I could pull through. Why ask a question if you’re not really interested in the answer? And if you’re not interested in the answer, for heaven’s sake ask me a question that you really are interested in, like what would I like to drink!

Sorry. It’s early and I haven’t had my latte yet.

Perky People People!

Is it just me, or are overly perky people annoying as hell? I’m not talking about people that are generally in a good mood most of the time, I’m talking about people that are so excited about being alive that they look like they’re about to explode.

I met one of these people the other day. One of the nicest people you could ever hope to meet, so I’m really going to feel guilty after posting this. The problem was that every little thing was incredibly wonderful to her (regardless of how boring and mundane it really was), and she had to exclaim about it.

“Oh my gosh! Is that your computer? That’s so cool!”

“Oh wow! Look at your Darth Vader collection!”

“Oh! That’s awesome! Look! Cool! Sweet!”

It’s like she had just woken up from a 100 year slumber that morning and was experiencing life for the first time all over again.

I run into people like this from time-to-time – though they’re rarely over the age of 12 – and they just exhaust me. And after the other day I got to thinking about it, and at first I wondered how anyone could be that “up,” but then I had this epiphany. Maybe, just maybe, the reason they act like they just popped into existance this morning is because they all suffer from short term memory loss. Maybe they’re just like that guy from the movie Memento – only without the driving need to solve the grizzly murder of they’re spouses – and they don’t remember from one day to the next that the previous day sucked. It would explain so much!

It would certainly explain why, when I encounter these types of people more than once, they always seem happy to see me.

Great Scott! He’s Posting!

Well, not really…

I just realized I hadn’t updated my blog in several months, and I didn’t want the last thing I posted to be about Danny Bonaduce. Things have been crazy, what can I say? Plus, I’ve found a new passion for board games that is taking up a great deal of my time (and money).

So, for those that may have been wondering, I’m alive and well – just not as attentive to my blog as I used to be.

Danny Bonaduce Reads My Blog

OK, I don’t know this for a fact. It’s just that I was told by a co-worker that he was on the radio this morning talking about the smell in the bathroom after someone has done the Ol’ Number 2 and sprayed too much air freshener. Apparently he called the smell “rose poop,” because they had flower-scented air freshener. This reminded me of a post I made not too long ago, and started me to wondering, “How many famous people are reading my blog and ripping me off?” Should I be flattered, or disturbed?

In any case, if Danny Bonaduce is reading my blog, I probably ought to apologize for the ginger kid comment I made. I didn’t mean to be offensive. So, sorry, Danny… and by the way, how’s Keith?